September 12 marked two years since I moved to the DR. I truly hoped that this blog would be celebratory of that and full of excitement, looking forward to what is to come as I continue to live and serve here.  And don’t get me wrong, I am thankful to be living the life I spent years praying for and I am excited about what my future here holds. But this month began with heartbreak and has continued to prove an extremely difficult adjustment back to life at the guest house and I can’t negate what I’ve been feeling in the last few weeks. 

I flew back to the DR on August 31. As many of you already know, Dolly became very sick during my last couple of weeks home and had to be taken to the capital. I honestly thought it was going to be something simple, like a parasite, that with a little medicine, she’d be good to go within a few days. In the capital, they found that her intestines had telescoped which caused severe damage. She went through three surgeries in which parts of her intestines were removed and to clean out her abdomen where she was collecting free liquid. The prognosis was not good, but after she made it through those three surgeries, her care team and I were very hopeful that she was going to pull through. When we flew back to the DR, Kelsi stayed in the capital with me for 2 nights so that I could visit with her before going back to San Juan. The plan was that I would visit her on the weekends until she had recovered enough to go home with me. Kelsi and I went to see her the evening we flew in and I returned the next morning to visit her again. She was so happy, had lots of energy, she had a good appetite, and she was making bowel movements – all very encouraging signs. However, that afternoon, they called me saying some of her food came out of the drain they had put in to get all of the free liquid out of her abdomen and they needed to do a fourth surgery. During this one, I got a call saying that they found another portion of her intestine that had necrosis and they had already taken so much of her intestine, they couldn’t take anymore. They had done all that they could do and I needed to make a decision. The decision that I begged God not to have to make. I don’t understand why the Lord allowed this to happen to Dolly. Or to me. If I’m honest, I’m angry with Him for taking her away from me and not letting her live a full life. I have loved all of the dogs I’ve ever had, but she was hands down the best dog and she was a huge part of my life here in the DR.

After something like this happens, it’s easy to say, “I never want another dog because I don’t want to hurt like this again.” I said that almost verbatim after my last dog passed away and I truly had no desire to adopt another animal. But Dolly found me. And I’m so glad she did because Dolly was such a sweet source of joy and comfort to me in the last year and a half. 

This mentality is oddly familiar in the community I live in. Solid Rock has been here for over 30 years and people have come and gone – made an impact and then lost touch after leaving. Kelsi and I have had to work extra hard during our time here to build community here because so many locals have walls up with the mentality of “they always leave, so what’s the point of letting them into my life?” And they’re right. If they keep these walls up, the hurt of eventually saying goodbye can’t get in. But that also means the good can’t get in either. We can’t experience the richness of doing life together if only for a season if we block out the people we’re scared to be vulnerable with and eventually lose touch with. 

But I believe that God calls certain people into our lives for only a season. There is purpose in knowing people for a short season and deeply impacted by them during that time. I think of Jesus. He only had roughly 33 years on this Earth and only about 3 years of ministry. He traveled a lot and I’m sure he developed relationships along the way and had to say goodbye after a short time to continue on in his ministry. He was fully human. I imagine how excruciating it could have been for his flesh to go through building deep relationships knowing that he had very little time in those places or even on Earth. I imagine the grief his flesh experienced of only spending a short time with the people he loved here even knowing that he would get to spend eternity with them. Yet he was extremely intentional with those he held dear during his time here and sought to grow into deep relationships with them because he knew what was to come. 

I’m currently studying the book of John using a study guide by the Daily Grace Company called Come and See. I have loved diving deep into the miracles and ministry of Jesus, slowly savoring and meditating on the gospel of John. In learning more about the historical and cultural contexts of things Jesus said and did, I can’t help but see the Lord’s intentionality in the most minute detail to pierce the hearts of the people being addressed back then and also the hearts of those reading the words on the page now. He didn’t pay attention to the small details so we could live a mediocre life, succumbed to the fear of letting people in who have the potential to leave us. He came so that we would have life in abundance. Part of this life of abundance comes through community with our brothers and sisters no matter how much time we have with them. He pierced through the darkness so that abundant life could start now and continue through eternity, rather than making us wait until death for abundant life to begin. 

So I pray that not knowing how long I will be in the DR (or on Earth in general) will create in me a sense of urgency and intentionality with the people I have around me and get to do life with while here. Urgency to talk about Jesus, urgency to be poured into and to pour into others, and intentionality to serve, love, pray, and forgive.

This is my prayer for all believers. That we could all live with boldness to love hard and share the Way, the Truth, and the Life with those the Lord places in our lives no matter the length of the season. 

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Highlights 

• I came home to a decorated room by Hilda, Bianca, and Angel! I’m so thankful to have sweet friends that make the smallest of things special. 

• My friend Kailey went with me to my vet, Jen’s, farm in the capital to bury Dolly. I truly could not have imagined a more beautiful day, place, or way to lay my sweet girl to rest. Jen has gone above and beyond to care for both me and Dolly the last several weeks. She had a palm tree planted where Dolly was buried and gave me a couple of plants to bring home with me from the farm to keep Dolly close. It was especially special that they planted a tree where she was buried because that was exactly what my Grandpa John would have done and she would have been born right around the time he passed away. 

• We went on a staff retreat in Santo Domingo. It was a really edifying and restful time. I always enjoy spending time with our staff outside of work and this was even better since we were learning and growing together. Our retreat was based on the Unique Calling curriculum from Pine Hills Church. Kelsi, Sarah, and I did it together with Tiffany and Chrystal from PHC last spring and I enjoyed going back through it and learning new things about myself and the people I serve alongside. 
• Stalin came and painted my room. I had bought a paint that I thought was like a sage green. Turns out, the actual paint color did not match the sample displayed. It was more of a toothpaste mint green. So we went and got a different paint which was supposed to be like a darker olive green. That one also did not match the sample displayed. It turned out to be more of what I like to call “diarrhea/vomit yellow/green.” So we went back a 3rd time and got a brownish gray color that I really love! I’m thankful for Stalin’s patience!

• I’ve been working on projects around the guest house and preparing to receive teams again. Kelsi and I did a big grocery run in the capital and I had to order water, coke, ice, and propane to get ready for teams to be back. I’m really excited to host teams again after this break! 
• I still have Peanut. I was never able to find her a home and I’m really glad I couldn’t. (There goes the Lord with His intentionality again). She keeps me close to Dolly in her personality and her mannerisms. So, I’m thankful that there is still a sweet, snuggly fur baby to help welcome teams to the guest house.

• I donated blood again! We are up to 62 pints of blood donated this year. That’s a little under half way to our goal of 150 pints from friends of SRI. We only have 3 and a half months left of the year, but I’m hopeful we can get to at least 100 pints donated!

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Prayer requests: 

• Restful sleep – I haven’t been sleeping well in the last few months months and it has gotten a lot worse in the last few weeks with the anxiety of Dolly’s surgeries and her passing 
• Intentionality with people here and with family and friends back home 
• Prioritize my time with the Lord even in the busyness
• That my relationship with and trust in the Lord would continue to grow